Traditional Ceremony Format

Housekeeping

This is the part of the Wedding before either of you arrive, where I will address your guests with any important information, like where the bathrooms are and what time we will begin. I introduce your photographer/videographer and musician (if there is one). I also like to ask your guests to take a quick selfie with the person next to them and send it to you the next morning.

Please let me know if there’s anything you would like me to relay at this time, e.g. Would you like guests to scatter confetti at the conclusion of your ceremony? And do guests need a demonstration of a confetti toss? Would you like guests to have an unplugged ceremony (guests refrain from taking photography), and what are the plans post-ceremony? (should everyone hang around for group photos, or are they free to go and get a drink?)

Take a moment here to think about what this scene looks like. Are your guests seated or standing? Are guests seated on the same ‘side’ as their loved one getting married, or opposite sides to get a direct view of their family member getting married?…or are there no sides at all? Is there no aisle at all? Are chairs curved, or completely encircling you? Is there seating reserved for parents/elderly family?

Your Entrance

This is where you enter the Ceremony. You may like to have an aisle to walk down, one partner approaching the other, or maybe you want to walk down together. You may like to enter from the side of the room. You may like to be already standing up the front with me awaiting your guests to arrive, then clink champagne glasses to begin. You may want to be seated. What makes you most comfortable? Are you an introvert, or an extrovert. What kind of an entrance best suits you?

Consider, would you like to be escorted by a parent or friend?

Will you have a wedding party walking before you? Will you have pets involved?

Would you like music played and will this be live or recorded? I strongly request live music, it creates a beautiful atmosphere and the musical artist you choose can fade out at the perfect moment. Alternatively, you may like to have a DJ or friend operate music for you through a loudspeaker/PA. Just, please check the quality of the equipment being used, and ensure you use someone you trust with tech.

Consider cultural inclusions… Scottish? How about a bagpipe entry? First Nation Australian? How about an entrance to the didgeridoo?

After music with a special meaning to you? Maybe have an acoustic artist playing a cover of ‘your song’, or get your DJ to do a mashup of party tunes for each lively entry from the wedding party? How about just a voice - a very powerful operatic voice? A violinist or a sting quartet is always a beautiful, classical choice (they could always play a piece of music that is a shared love of yours - like the Star Wars or Harry Potter themes). Feel free to ask me for my musician recommendations.

Welcoming

You have both presented yourselves to me before your guests. At this point I will ask you to take each other’s hands. I will formally welcome your guests and I will introduce myself and the purpose of our gathering. You tell me - am I delivering this with warmth and sincerity, presenting it a little cheeky and fun, or amping people up to full party mode?

Giving Away & Rituals

Would you like a parent or friend to give you away? Or would you like to give yourselves away to one another? You may prefer to alter the wording of the ‘giving away’ to: 'who presents this bride/groom/woman/man (or by name) to be married today?’… or maybe you’d like to avoid ‘giving away’ entirely, or rather ask for a particular person/s blessing.

It is also at this time that you may like to include a ritual.

Including rituals can be anything from hand fasting, butterfly releases and unity candles - to sand pouring, log cutting and tree planting. Rituals can enhance a ceremony, and they can especially be a lovely inclusion for blending of families. Yet, including one that doesn’t mean anything to you (just because you are following a template) can take away from your love story. This is not a mandatory element of a ceremony.

Introduction

Now, I will speak about your commitment and anything else that is meaningful and significant to you. I will give your guests some background of your relationship. Here is where I will include some of the memories/stories that you may share with me. How did you meet? When did you know you were in love? Was it love at first sight? It does not need to be lengthy. And don’t worry - I always provide a first draft of your script before the ceremony. So if there is anything you are not comfortable with me saying, you’ll have the opportunity to omit it.

Readings

I will speak about love and marriage in a way I best represents you both as a couple - completely personalised! I may even include a poem or song lyrics here if I feel it speaks volumes about your love.

Readings from your guests are a wonderful way to include family and friends in your ceremony. You may ask someone close to you to recite a poem, or maybe even read a poem of their own. It is important that you advise me of the poem name and author so that this can be accurately acknowledged.

Monitum (*mandatory)

 I need to say this legal bit here.

“I am duly authorised by law to solemnise marriages according to law.”

“Before you are joined in marriage in my presence and in the presence of these witnesses, I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter. Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of two people to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life”

The Asking

This part of the ceremony is not legally necessary, however if you want to say the words “I do” or “I will” to your partner, it will need to be added.

An example: “Do you Jay present yourself here today to be joined in marriage with Taylor, promising to be faithful and honest as long as you both may live?”

You can change the “promising to…” to be anything you like.

Legal Vows (*mandatory)

These are mandatory vows to legally bind your marriage. They are:

“I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, A.B. (or C.D.),
take thee, C.D. (or A.B.), to be my lawful wedded wife (or husband, or spouse)”.

Vows (Additional/Personal)

Would you like to add some personalised promises to each other? You can do so. These vows will be added on to the end of your legal vows. Example: Party 1 would say their legal vows and personal vows. Then Party 2 would say their legal vows and personal vows.

If you would like to keep your vows a surprise from one another, you can email them to me separately and I can print them on vow cards for you. I can check that you vows align with each other (similar length and vibe). And if you need help with writing your vows, you can email or call me to work it our together.

Feeling shy, or very private by nature. I can switch off the mic whilst you say/whisper your vows to your partner (so that only they hear).

Ring exchange

This can also be added to the vows, if you wish to give rings to one another. Or maybe only one person is receiving a ring. This is not mandatory. You may choose to skip this entirely, or exchange some other gift, maybe you might even choose to get your ring tattooed!

The Pronouncing

This is the stage in the ceremony where I will pronounce you ‘Brisbane’s hottest new newlyweds, Husband & ? Wife & ? Spouses’ or ‘Partners in marriage’ (however you chose to be announced). If you are comfortable in sealing your marriage with a kiss, this can also be added…or maybe you’d rather hug or high five?

Signing of the Register

We can do this at this point of the ceremony…or we can skip for now and find a quiet place to sign, after you’ve made your ceremony exit and have been congratulated by family and friends.

Along with your two witnesses, you will be required to sign two copies of the Official Certificate of Marriage and your Form 15 Marriage Certificate. Please provide me with the names of your witnesses so I can invite them to the signing table at this time. You may like to arrange to have music played whilst you are signing your certificates. *Your witnesses must be over 18 years of age.

Don’t know who to ask to be witness? Someone special like a parent/grandparent or best friend is a great choice. Or if you prefer, let’s play a game of witness bingo/offer the gig as a lucky door prize…ask me for more info about the fun ‘games’ we can play at your ceremony.

You may like to add an additional ritual at the conclusion of your certificate signing.

Summing Up

Before officially announcing. I will say a few words/offer my blessings.

Congratulations and Presentation

This is the conclusion of your ceremony, where I will announce you in your preferred/agreed way, example: “Mr/s & Mr/s XXXX, husbands/ brides, partners in marriage”…or simply your first names.

How would you like to be announced?

Recessional

This is where you will depart the ceremony to have photography/be congratulated by guests.

Music is usually played. If you have a wedding party, it is tradition that they follow.

You may like to offer your guests confetti/sparklers/bubbles to help create an atmospheric congratulatory exit.

Alternatively, I can invite guests up to congratulate you.