Wedding Rituals

Want to include a Wedding ritual? Take a look below for some inspiration.

Hand Fasting

This is my favourite ritual, one that represents the binding of two lives and two families. I like the symbolism behind a handfasting where the cords/ribbons create an eternity symbol. This style of handfasting can include other members of the family, they can tie the knot themselves, or simply lay the ribbon/cord in their colour of choice (making a small promise as they do so). This is a great way to include children of blended families – you can add as many ribbons as there are children. Parents can add a ribbon and make a promise to their children too.

A handfasting begins with the joining of the marrying party’s right hands. The first cord (all of which are approximately 2m long) is representative of the first person’s family, and it is placed on their wrist. Then the second cord is placed over the other party’s wrist, representing the second family. Finally, the third cord is placed over the couple’s hands in the centre, representing the joining of families. I then bring all three cords together into a figure 8 knot atop the couples’ wrists, where it remains as they exchange vows. Then the couple’s wrists can gently slide out of the knot, and as they each pull the rope, a tight figure * knot remains - a beautiful keepsake that can be hung or framed in the couple’s home. (I have a lovely reading about the blessing of hands, that I can include prior to this ritual).

Ring Warming

Ring warming is a great way for guests to be involved in the ceremony. A close friend or relative steps forward with both wedding rings and passes them around to each guest.

Each guest then gets to ‘warm’ or bless the rings with love and kind thoughts for the couple and their marriage. Once they’ve passed through all the guests’ hands, they go back to the front to be held until it’s time for the couple to exchange rings.

The Rope-Warming Ritual

A combination of the ring-warming ritual and hand-fasting, the pass-the-rope ritual sees a length of rope being passed around, with each guests taking a quiet moment to set an intention for the couple, send them good wishes or say a silent prayer. The rope can then be used in a hand-fasting ritual or tied by the couple ("tying the knot") to symbolise a bond that only becomes stronger with pressure.

Lighting a Unity Candle

This is one of the most common unity ceremonies performed. The candle-lighting ceremony usually involves the couple lighting one large candle from two smaller family candles. Traditionally, the smaller candles are lit by each of their mothers, representing the merging of two families.

Sand Pouring Ceremony

A variation on the candle-lighting ritual mentioned above, the sand-pouring ritual finds the couple pouring sand from two individual containers into a single vase or vessel to symbolise their union. Some couples take the sand from beaches near where they grew up or beaches that are particularly special to them, while others use colourful sand to create a decorative item they can then display in their home. Some couples ask members of their family to get involved by adding more containers of sand, symbolising the joining of two families. This is a great option for couples who have children, too!

The Salt-Pouring Ritual

Like the sand-pouring ritual above, the salt-pouring ritual involves the couple pouring salt from two individual containers into a single vessel to symbolise their union. They can then use the shared salt to cook at home, making it a great option for food-loving couples.

Wine Ceremony #1

The loving cup ritual dates to Saxon times, meaning it's been around for at least 900 years! It involves a ceremonial cup, usually a two-handled silver cup, which the couple both drink from, and sometimes offer to their guests, too. The idea is that a drink shared is sweeter, and as your celebrant I may recite some words to this effect. Some couples drink a blend of two wines, and sometimes couples are invited to toast to their past, present, and future. Wine is the traditional drink, but, as with many of these rituals, you can adapt it to suit you and your partner. Using an heirloom cup or glass as your loving cup is a nice touch, too.

Wine Ceremony #2

For this ritual, the couple select a special bottle of wine to put in a box during the ceremony. Working together, they hammer or seal the box closed. The celebrant explains that the bottle of wine will be opened and drank on the couple's first wedding anniversary, 10th wedding anniversary or another special date. This is a great option for wine lovers and foodie couples! Some couples put love letters in the box too, to be read upon opening the box.

The Bread Ritual

Wedding ceremony rituals involving bread are popular in many cultures, often symbolising the couple's prosperity - parents or guests offer the couple a special loaf of bread in the hope that they'll never go hungry. Combined with the salt and wine rituals above, a bread ritual can also create a food theme at your ceremony. As your Celebrant, I might utter the traditional housewarming blessing, "Bread, that this house may never know hunger. Salt, that life may always have flavour. And wine, that joy and prosperity may reign forever."

The Oathing Stone Ritual

Another Celtic ritual, this one originating in Scotland, the oathing stone ritual finds the couple figuratively setting their love in stone by reciting vows while holding a special oathing stone in their hands. When this ritual first emerged, an oath given near stone was stronger. Couples can have fun selecting their stone, perhaps taking it from a beach or place that means a lot to them.

The Tree-Planting Ritual

An ancient ritual with origins in many cultures, the tree-planting ritual is a lovely one to include when getting married at home, or near to home, but some wedding venues will accommodate it, too (providing a good excuse for you to return to the venue with each anniversary!) It finds the couple planting a tree together during their ceremony, the tree representing their relationship, which is about to take root, grow and flourish. There are no hard and fast rules for this one, a rose bush or other type of plant would work just as well. You can also add soil from both of your family homes or home countries, and ask family and friends to get involved, too.

The Rose Exchange Ritual

Although it might remind reality TV fans of The Bachelor, the rose exchange ritual is a popular one with couples who love old-world romance. There are a few ways to do it - the couple can offer each other a rose as a token of their love and commitment or chosen friends and family members can offer the couple single roses, speaking aloud their hopes and dreams for the couple's future. This is another ritual with endless opportunity for customisation, a different flower or token gift would work just as well.

The Time Capsule Ritual

The time capsule ritual finds the couple sealing some special items in a box to open at a later date, often a special anniversary. Love letters or a bottle of wine might be accompanied by a newspaper from the day of the wedding, a USB of favourite songs, a wedding invitation or ceremony booklet - the opportunities are endless! Some couples invite guests to contribute to the time capsule too, including meaningful items (which may be kept a surprise from the couple!), or written words of advice.

The Shot Ritual

A great way to get the party started - invite your guests to join in taking a shot of something alcoholic (or a bottle of beer or a glass of Champagne!) during the ceremony, to toast the new marriage. The shot is accompanied by cheers and well-wishes.

The Puzzle Ritual

This is a great option for couples who love board games and puzzles! It finds the couple assembling a wooden puzzle during the ceremony to symbolise their unity. This can either be a simple logic puzzle, or a special puzzle that's been custom-made for the occasion. This is a great one to use with children, too - just make sure there are enough pieces for everyone you want to include.

The Jump the Broom Ritual

The broom hopping tradition is said to have its origins in both Celtic and West African culture, and symbolises a new beginning, whilst sweeping away the past. It is also said to signify two families becoming one. After completing your wedding vows, you quite literally jump into your new life together, leaving any old uncertainties behind. But best of all this is one ritual all your guests can get involved in and makes for some cracking wedding photos.

The Log-Cutting Ritual

An old German tradition that would be extra fabulous at an outdoor or nature-inspired ceremony, the log-cutting ritual finds the couple working together to (you guessed it!) cut a log in half with a two-handled saw. The log is said to represent the obstacles they'll face in their marriage.

The Bell Ringing Ritual

This is based on the old Irish custom dating from the Penal Times (1695 to 1829), when church weddings were forbidden in Ireland. People married in barns and cottages and guests brought along a bell to ring in good luck and prosperity for the newly-married couple, as there were no church bells. Think of it as a type of Celtic Feng Shui. Children's handbells which are tuned to different notes make a joyful sound when rung by your guests at the end of the ceremony. It's also a lovely one for any kids in attendance to get involved in.

Butterfly Release

Legend has it that if you want a wish to come true you should capture a butterfly, whisper your wish to it, and then let it go. For this reason, many couples choose to make a wish before releasing their butterflies and encourage guests to do the same.